Good morning, everyone. We’d like to announce that we’re selling off the robotics division of Trossen Innovations. After three years of growth and prosperity, we’ve decided to change our focus to creating humorous animated gifs and pictures of cats with witty misspelled phrases pasted over them. We’re confident that our company will be in good hands, though. Take a look at this excerpt from AndroidThinkTank’s mission statement, and you’ll know why we fell head over heels for this organization:

This will create jobs…good ones!This will make us competitive World Wide!This is the way to become the Wal-Mart of mining! It is possible to build an android automiton that is controled by both computer and a cabbage worm.The worm knows how to look for food and eat.If a person designed the control part to reward the worm with a tiny piece of food each time it found the cabbage.The android would then pick the cabbage and put it in the wagon…the worm would then be allowed to search for food again.The cabbage worm would be the controller of choice for picking cabbage.God already put a cabbage monger here with the cabbage worm…might as well enslave them!To think a cabbage worm could do it you realize the wasted human potencial .I think that these androids will give us the tools we need to not waste our God given talents!The developement of a comprehensive applied android program would lay the ground work for major space exploration! Construction crews of androids on the Moon/Mars with the controlers on Earth or a space base/ship. I could see the UN having android observers/or IAEA Inspectors. I can see the day swarms of androids pick produce that is now limited to human pickers[only if they are cheap enough],and operate farm machinery.With the Baby Boomers reaching retirement more workers are going to be needed.The smart egg would get in front of this coming need.

Combining our love of androids and cabbage, they approached us and made an offer we couldn’t refuse.

So long and thanks for all the fish,
-The (former) Trossen Robotics Team

[Edit: happy April Fools Day, everybody. You can stop emailing us about this now. Sheesh.]

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