Excuses to tell why we are having the sale
Robots have turned against us, need to get rid of them fast
Feeling generous today for once
We make too much money around here, it is eroding our moral foundations
The weight of the warehouse is creating diamonds under the foundation
Our customers are awesome and we want to say thanks!
(FYI- when you hear a store saying ^^^this^^^ it is really code for this: Why aren’t you people buying anything in July?!!! We still have bills to pay you know! Just because it is 152 degrees celsius lately doesn’t mean you should stop building robots. Geeks don’t get summer off from being geeks. Get back inside and work on a geeky project. Your skin cannot handle direct sunlight anyway vampire boy/girl. It is dangerous out there. Look at all the shiny stuff in our store! Ohhhh, isn’t it beautiful? We know you want some. Yes! Time to upgrade your servos and sensors. Now you are thinking correctly. There will be cake served at the end of checkout. Just follow me here into the store. That’s good. Just enter summer2011 when you checkout. Hurry along now.)
EDIT: Andrew here. Hey guys, I hate to be the one to break bad news, but Matt is a liar. There is no cake. It will not be served upon checkout. Sorry guys. This communication was not authorized. Please forget what you have read. Here is a companion cube to help your feeble minds remain calm.